Everybody has dreams. Its like a movie you project with yourself as the protagonist. Everything is possible, every challenge will be met and every time, it ends a happy ending. I believe that dreams can show you who or what you are. But can it show you what can become? What provokes you to push beyond that barrier to think you can or are living your dreams? Can everyone do it? Or are people fooling themselves?
Every single day from the age of 15, I have woken with a sense of incompleteness. As if I have a lot more to do or see. I think the word I am looking for is experience. But this sense has become so much more pronounced. And the worst part is, somehow, I feel my time is up. Or at least, it is going to be. I was never an emotional person. My entire childhood was spent with me in my own world just thinking about the things around me. I remember the first watch that I bought with my own money. I fantasized about it for 2 weeks. I had the money thanks to a couple of quizzes I had won but I couldn't buy without the permission of my mom. So once I had it, I went to the store and bought it. It was exhilarating up until the moment and I walked out of the store with my new watch. Then all that excitement just vanished. I had it. I still remember asking myself, "Then what?". Every time I have wanted something it has been the same story. The desire. Getting it. And then thinking about what comes next. I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't think I deserve it. As I grew older, my wants became bigger and even though, some of them were not realised, I still somehow found a reason to believe that it was not entirely by my own credit. That feeling sits at the lower part of my stomach and has pretty much translated to my sense of incompleteness.
Obviously, my first plan to counter this was to build something from scratch. And I have not succeeded. Till now. And neither will, I suppose. Is this what's supposed to drive you?
Every single day from the age of 15, I have woken with a sense of incompleteness. As if I have a lot more to do or see. I think the word I am looking for is experience. But this sense has become so much more pronounced. And the worst part is, somehow, I feel my time is up. Or at least, it is going to be. I was never an emotional person. My entire childhood was spent with me in my own world just thinking about the things around me. I remember the first watch that I bought with my own money. I fantasized about it for 2 weeks. I had the money thanks to a couple of quizzes I had won but I couldn't buy without the permission of my mom. So once I had it, I went to the store and bought it. It was exhilarating up until the moment and I walked out of the store with my new watch. Then all that excitement just vanished. I had it. I still remember asking myself, "Then what?". Every time I have wanted something it has been the same story. The desire. Getting it. And then thinking about what comes next. I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't think I deserve it. As I grew older, my wants became bigger and even though, some of them were not realised, I still somehow found a reason to believe that it was not entirely by my own credit. That feeling sits at the lower part of my stomach and has pretty much translated to my sense of incompleteness.
Obviously, my first plan to counter this was to build something from scratch. And I have not succeeded. Till now. And neither will, I suppose. Is this what's supposed to drive you?
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